Top Ten Signs Your New Governor is Nuts

  1. Changes name of capital to “Funkytown.”
  2. To prove he’s tough on crime he has himself executed.
  3. Calls an emergency staff meeting and declares war on Nebraska.
  4. If left alone, will eat every document on his desk.
  5. Won’t return phone call of the best damn mayor of the best damn city of the best damn country in the world.
  6. During victory speech, screams “Are you sorry you wouldn’t be my prom date now, Stephanie O’Rourke?”
  7. Giggles uncontrollably whenever somebody says the word “gubernatorial.”
  8. During swearing-in, insists on holding judge’s hand.
  9. His date for the inaugural ball is inflatable.
  10. Keeps trying to impeach himself.
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