TOP TEN SIGNS that your meeting/date with a man has hit the skids:
- Three minutes after he starts giving you a tour of his house, he asks you if it looks nice enough to move into.
- “Has anybody told you what lovely blue eyes you have?” When in fact they are neutral grey, and bloodshot as all hell.
- After telling you how he likes to take things one step at a time, he asks the maitre’d for a private booth, and then jumps you with a lip-lock.
- A minute after you order your food, he asks “What do you think of that cute faggot who’s waiting on our table?”
- After quizzing your ear off about how straight & discrete you are in public he then tries to play footsie in the restaurant when there is no tablecloth to block the view.
- “I don’t care at all about material things, nor how much money you make” Then when the waiter approaches, he says “I’ll charge this on my Platinum American Express Card.”
- He invites you over to his place, but forgets to tell you that his jealous lover of 12 years will be coming home from work at midnight.
- He invites you over to his place since he lives all alone, forgetting to tell you about his 4 cats, 3 dogs, and a mynah bird, all of whom are irritated by visitors.
- He tells you how neatness & cleanliness were instilled in him at an early age, but you can smell his collection of empty beer bottles and cat litter just as his key touches the front door lock.
- “I know it doesn’t really mean anything, but I’m a Virgo, what’s your sign?”
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