Top 10 Thoughts Put Forth By George Carlin

  1. “Live and let live, that’s my motto. Anyone who doesn’t like it, take him out and shoot the motherf*cker.”
  2. “…And once you think you’ve gotten in a good lane on the road, you get behind the worst car of all…a Volvo station wagon…diesel. Here’s a safety freak who’s going to save his ass and give me cancer.”
  3. “You never hear this:’Honey, let’s sell the kids, move to Zanzibar, and begin taking opium rectally!'”
  4. “Why is it always a moment of silence [for the dead]? Why not a moment of screaming?”
  5. “Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t wanna f*ck in the first place?”
  6. “Shouldn’t there be a feminine hygiene spray called ‘Sprunt?'”
  7. “What wine goes with Cap’n Crunch? I have trouble deciding in the early morning. Sometimes I just give up altogether, smoke a bong full of Froot Loops, and go back to bed.”
  8. “Since when are chickens better than human beings? Name 6 ways humans are better than chickens. See? You can’t do it! Cause chickens are decent people. You never hear about a chicken who came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen. You never hear about a chicken hooking a guy’s nuts up to a car battery.”
  9. “You never see a picture of Margaret Thatcher strapping on a dildo.”
  10. “It doesn’t take much to piss off a feminist. All you have to do is walk in to NOW Headquarters or Ms. Magazine and say, ‘Hey! Which one of you cute little cupcakes wants to come home and cook me a nice meal and give me a blowjob?'”

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