Top 10 Things That Will Change Now That Mark McGwire Has Hit

  1. George Will has something else to talk about than Clinton, Gore, and Gephardt
  2. #62 will be replayed every year until someone breaks it in 30-odd years
  3. The Cardinals *might* not suck anymore
  4. Sosa will get back to the business of getting the Cubs to the playoffs
  5. The nation will join in and be happy and joyous etcetera…yeah, right, just like when Maris hit his 61st or Hank Aaron hit his 715th
  6. Twice as many paparazzi will be camping out on McGwire’s lawn
  7. Ken Starr will open up a grand jury into possible juicing of the 62nd home run ball (Someone’s gotta ruin it for everyone)
  8. I have to go back to work again.
  9. ESPN Sportscenter will have to go back to 30-minute programs
  10. We’ll be hearing about when Ken Griffey Jr. breaks Roger Maris’s AMERICAN LEAGUE home run record…

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