Top 10 Surprises in the Winter Olympics

  1. Women’s Hockey is actually a sport (def: “Sport, n.: anything that the U.S. can whoop your ass in”)
  2. Southern Baptists protested the two-man-luge because “It just don’t look right”
  3. The world found out that Picabo Street isn’t a kids’ show on PBS
  4. “Happy” Harada didn’t choke!
  5. U.S. Men’s Hockey team did
  6. Surya Bonaly told the judges to screw themselves
  7. The Canadians are a bunch of whiners (oops, no surprise there)
  8. Michelle Kwan broke Oksana Bayul’s world record for longest sob after a performance
  9. Four words: Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber Alles!
  10. People actually watched the damn thing

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