Top 10 Corollaries of Murphy’s Law

  1. The more you enjoy your job, the greater the probability you’ll be laid off
  2. The bell always tolls for thee–when you have two overdue payments
  3. The more you want a beer, the more expensive it gets
  4. The woman you’re trying to pick up in the bar is either married to a linebacker or a lesbian
  5. The probability of enjoying sex is directly proportional to the probability of her having herpes
  6. If you come to a yellow light and don’t speed up, you’ll miss it. If you do, the cop you didn’t see will pull you over for speeding *and* running the light
  7. No matter which lane you pick at the grocery store–it’s not the express lane
  8. Flatulence only occurs during important situations: your wedding, a court appearance, a job interview…
  9. The power always goes out during the bottom of the 9th or the 2 minute warning
  10. Even if you do your best, the next guy will say, “What was this guy smoking when he thought the stuff up?”

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