I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
— _A Bit of Fry and Laurie_
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in
many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the
“Four F’s”: 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating.
— Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. — Oscar Wilde
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do
the unnecessary. — Richard Harkness, _The New York Times_, 1960
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the
shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser
Gate. All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
— Roy Baty, in “Blade Runner”
Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: “Of all the radio
stations in Chicago…we’re one of them.”
With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles
closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there
are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as
progress. — Ransom K. Ferm
Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the
It is possible for your mind to be so open that your brain falls out.
The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years
of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies
in the history of the world. — Dave Barry
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I
hate plants. — A. Whitney Brown
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging
their prejudices. — William James
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling
down the highway. — Andrew Tannenbaum
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it—and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again—and that is
well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
— Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens, American Writer, 1835-1910)
The Lord’s Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are
1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on
the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
— From an article on the growth of federal regulations
in the Oct. 24th issue of National Review
Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line,
off the bridge, past the firewall…nothing but Net.
Courteous Postal Workers:
A. Always have stamps on hand.
B. Are kind, courteous, and patient with customers.
C. Save the last bullet for themselves.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
Life in a vacuum sucks.
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please multiply by i and try again.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s
life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if
there are men on base. — Dave Barry
I am sick unto death of obscure english towns that exist seemingly for the sole
accommodation of these so-called limerick writers—and even sicker of their
residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their time
dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls.
— Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.