25 Thoughts To Get You Through Almost Any Crisis

  1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  2. You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
  3. There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
  4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
  5. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  6. Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
  7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
  8. The careful application of terror IS a form of communication.
  9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
  10. Things are more like today than they ever were before.
  11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
  12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
  13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
  15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
  16. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
  17. If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone to blame.
  18. One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
  19. By the time you can make ends meet they’ve moved.
  20. There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
  21. The more you run over a cat the flatter it gets.
  22. There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
  23. When someone says this is as bad as it can get, don’t bet on it.
  24. Never wrestle a pig, you both get dirty, and he likes it.
  25. The trouble with life, It’s a do-it yourself thing without instructions.
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