“The Penis List” (some parts of it are bad)


The Nuprin Penis: Little, yellow, different.

The Equal Penis: Tastes like sugar.

The Raid Penis: Kills bugs dead.

The Excedrin Penis: It’s tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing… Taste is everything.

The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.

The Alkaseltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.

The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very smart.

The Life Call Penis: It’s fallen and it can’t get up.

The American Express Penis: Don’t leave home without it.

The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take…?

The Pringles Penis: Once you pop, you can’t stop.

The M&M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

The Frosted Flakes Penis: They’re GGGRRRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!

The Lucky Charms Penis: They’re magically delicious.

The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going.

The Metra Penis: The way to REALLY fly.

The Right Guard Penis: Anything less is uncivilized.

The Jolly Green *Giant* Penis: Self-explanatory.

The Cambells Soup Penis: Mmm mmm good.

The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.

The McDonald’s Penis: Over 8 billion served.

The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your Penis?

The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.

The Cobain Penis: It blows itself away.

The Purdue Penis: More meat, less bone.

The All State Penis: You’re in good hands.

The 7-up Penis: The UN-Penis.

The Nike Penis: Just do it.

The Borden Penis: It’s GOT to be good.

The Barq’s Penis: The one with bite.

The Beef Penis: It’s what’s for dinner.

The Bud-Lite Penis: Great taste, less filling.

The Subway Penis: Where fresh is the taste.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis: Everybody needs a little.

The Life Cereal Penis: Mikey likes it.

The Transformers Penis: It’s more than meets the eye.

The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.

The Nintendo Penis: Now you’re playing with power.

The Sega Penis: PENIS!

The Robitussin Penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.

The Crest Penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

The Champion Penis: The official Penis of the ’96 u.s.a. olympic team.

The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.

The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.

The THX Penis: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The Citibank Visa Penis: It’s everywhere you want to be.

The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on….

The Burger King Penis: Have it your way.

The McDonald’s Penis ][: Have you had your break today?

The Army Penis: Be all that you can be.

The Uncle Sam Penis: We want you!

The Milk Penis: It does a body good. (got Penis?)

The Flintstone’s Vitamins Penis: 10 million strong and growing.

The Wendy’s Penis: Where’s the beef?

The Wizard Of Oz Penis: “Oh my!”

The Captain Planet Penis: Go PENIS!!

The Folger’s Crystals Penis: It’s freeze dried to seal in the freshness.
And–the best part of waking up is a Penis in your cup.

The Lays Penis: Betcha can’t eat just one.

The Mr. Clean Penis: Is it wet or is it dry?

The Diet Coke Penis: Just for the taste of it…

The Doublemint Penis: Chewing really satisfies.

The Juicyfruit Penis: The taste is gonna move ya.

The Big Red Penis: It’s longer with big red.

The Matthew Sweet Penis: 100% fun.

The Millikin Penis: Big blue.

The Robutussin Penis ][: Recommended by Dr. Mom…

The Neon Penis: Hi.

The Little Caesar’s Penis: Penis!! Penis!! or Pleaser! Pleaser!

The Generic Penis: One size fits all.

The Rave Music Penis: Ya’ll ready for this?

The Mortal Kombat Penis: Nothing can prepare you.

The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.

The Pizza Hut Penis: Makin’ it great.

The Bounce Penis: With Static-Guard!

The Domino’s Pizza Penis: Delivers in 30 min or less.

The Monty Python Penis: “Isn’t awfully nice to have a Penis”

The Monty Python Penis II: “Every sperm is sacred….”

The Budweiser Penis: This bud’s for you.

The Siskel & Ebert Penis: 2 thumbs up…

The George Of The Jungle Penis: Watch out for that…….tree?

The Nyquil Penis: The nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny-nose,
itching, burning, so you can’t rest Penis.

The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your Penis say to you?

The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra extra extra long time.

The Wonder Bubbles Penis: Magic wand inside!

The Wonder Bubbles Penis II: For ages 3 and up.

The Phantom Of The Opera Penis: Music of the night.

The Webster’s Thesaurus Penis: How many words are there for Penis?

The Charmin Penis: Don’t squeeze the Penis!

The Sears Penis: Come see the brighter side.

The Jewel Penis: Take a new look at an old friend.

The C&C Music Factory Penis: Makes you go hmmmmm…

The Rick James Penis: It’s SUPERFREAKY.

The Gilette Penis: The best a man can get.

The Charmin Double Roll Penis: It lasts longer because it IS longer.

The Bacardi Penis: Taste the feeling.

The Macintosh Penis: Power is everything.

The Borg Penis: Resistance is futile.

The Edge Shaving Cream Penis: Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.

The Beatles Penis: Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.

The Oasis Penis: Thinks it’s the beatles Penis.

The Jell-o Penis: Look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle.

The Virginia Slims Penis: You’ve come a long way, baby.

The AT&T Penis: Reach out and touch someone.

The Highlander Penis: In the end, there can be only one.

The Micro Machines Penis: A whole world, in the palm of your hand.

The Ertl Penis: Just like the real thing, only smaller.

The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop

The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

The Swiss Miss Penis: The taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!

The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!

The Dairy Queen Penis: Hot eats, cool treats.

The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.

The Sony Play Station Penis: You are not ready.

The Heinz Penis: Good things come to those who wait.

The Hinz Penis: 2 and half inches of terror.

The Reese’s Penis: How do you eat your Reese’s?

The Life Savers Penis: Five fruity flavors.

The Star Wars Penis: Use the Force, Luke!

The Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Penis: “They’re here already!

The War Of The Worlds Penis: “The time came when the Martians looked
upon our Penis with envious eyes, and slowly but surely turned
their plans against us.”

The Windows ’95 Penis: If you ask it to do too much, it’ll crash.

The Kenny Rodgers Penis: Very very hairy.

The Rush Limbaugh Penis: Bald and fat.

The Millikin E-mail Penis: I should be doing work, but this is so fun!

The Janet Jackson Penis: What Have You Done For ME Lately?

The Milli-Penis: It doesn’t work most of the time

The Health Services Penis: Ummm well we lost it.

The Health Services Penis II: It’s not here right now, but here’s
some Sudafed.

The Chevy Truck Penis: Like a rock!

The Mazda Penis: It just feels right.

The Ford Penis: Built Ford tough!

The Butterfinger Penis: No body better lay a finger on my penis.

The Ego Penis: Leggo my penis.

The Skittles Penis: Tast the penis.

The Big Lighter Penis: Go ahead flic my penis.

The Pork Penis: The other white meat.

The Duracell Penis: The copper top Penis.

The Diet Pepsi Penis: Uh-huh.

The Life Cereal Penis ][: Don’t worry, unless their weird, your kids
will eat it.

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