the Bible

I’ve noticed the discussion of God’s name the last two
days. One alleged God’s name is *Andy* (“Andy walks with me; Andy
talks with me”), another that it is *Howard* (“Howard be thy
name”). Anybody wanna vote for *Invain*?

Those are the suggestions of unenlightened minds, hardly
PC. Actually, her name is *Shirley*. In the book of Genesis,
chapter 28, verse 16, Jacob says clearly, “Shirley the Lord is in
this place.” Of course, you’ve gotta check the KJV (the version
God herself wrote), because the NEB, in the same passage,
translates her name as *Truly*.

While we’re on Biblical subjects (and this is something I
learned while I was on the Religious Humor List), are you aware that
there has been a Great Pi (the geometric ratio of the diameter of a
circle to its circumference) Shift–or perhaps “arc” inflation–
since Biblical times? Today we express pi as 22/7, often rounding
it off to 3.14. However, in I Kings 7:23 the value of pi is exactly
3, with no decimals:

It was round in shape, the diameter from rim to rim being
ten cubits; . . . and it took a line thirty cubits long to
go round it.

Thirty divided by ten. Even a third grader can do the math: pi is
(or was) exactly 3. I shared this wisdom with a mathematician
friend, who sent me a witty, seven-page response, . . . which I
will spare you.

I have *heard* of other interesting passages to provoke the
Bible scholar, the existence of which passages I have accepted on
faith without attempting to verify chapter and verse:

Where is tennis mentioned? When David served in Saul’s
court.

The elasticity of skin? When Moses tied his ass to a tree
and walked up the mountain.

Automobiles? When the Disciples were come together in one
Accord.

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