Tech Support Gems

Support, Santa Cruz Style or Where Do These People Come From?
by Jeff Liebermann ( 07/09/94
(All these really happened to me since 1983.)

1. “My hard disk won’t boot”. I suggest they take the floppy
out of drive A:. Later when I arrive, they have successfully
removed the floppy drive from the machine (with the floppy disk
still inside).

2. “My dog goes nuts when I run Windows. No problem with any
DOS programs”. Her monitor had a cracked flyback transformer.
When the multisync monitor switched scan rates upon entering
Windows, the high frequency audio produced by the broken flyback
was heard by the dog.

3. “Michaelangelo virus ate my hard disk, but I have a tape
backup. Can you help me restore the system”. No problem.
When I arrive, I find the data on the tape was 18 months old and
that she had never run a backup. “I thought you just shoved
in the tape and it sucked up the data”.

4. “How do I get on the national data information super highway?”.
I ask if he has accounts on any bbs’s. He has Netcom, Compuserve,
and others. I tell him he’s already on the highway.
“Is that all there is?” I hangup.

5. “What’s the fastest way to move 500MBytes of data daily
from Santa Cruz to Los Angeles?”. Answer: FedEx.

6. How many RJ45 connector does it take to build 8ea 10baseT cables?
Answer: 45. I put the first 16 connectors on with one end backward.
I then chopped off the good ends. Chopping off the other 8 connectors
and effectively starting over consumed another 16 connectors. The
2nd try resulted in one end being mirror-imaged. Chopping of 8 more
connectors I finally got them wired correctly. Then I tested them
for continuity and found 5 bad crimps. Total=45.

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