Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading
GIRLFRIEND COMMUNICATION GUIDE ================================ WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND /WIFE SAYS … /WIFE REALLY MEANS * You want < => You want * We need < => I want * It’s your decision < => The correct decision should be obvious by now. * Do what you want < … Continue reading
When I die, I hope I go in my sleep, peacefully, like my grandfather… not yelling and screaming like his passengers.
You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading
In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading