Top 10 Things I Love About NBA Lockout ’98

No mention of Latrell Spreewell at any given time Them witty Sprite commecials More TV time going to Japanese mud wrestling The rookies that will soon flood the minor league baseball system for extra dough 66% less press coverage of Dennis Rodman Clyde Drexler laughing all the way to Houston … Continue reading

Top 10 Things To Do With Soldering Irons

Dental Work Attitude Adjustor Tool for working on a Computer Center computer Tool for working on a Computer Center worker Coffee Warmer Gettin’ our groove on, man! Tub Food Cooker Lobotomizer Rectal probe Lesbian tampon

day off

So you want the day off from work, eh? Fair enough…let’s take a look at what you’re asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. … Continue reading

How The Angel Got To Be On Top Of The Christmas Tree

It just happened to be one of those dreadful days for Santa… It started of when he woke up groaning with a dreadful headache. But with so many things to do before Christmas Eve a few days later, there was no way that he could permit himself time to rest. … Continue reading

How to attend a meeting

A classis Dave Barry How to Attend a Meeting To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers. “Hi,” you should say. “I’m a new employee. What is the name of … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Phillies’ Fans Could Welcome a Strike

No more Businesspersons’ Specials = No Blue Hats.. Idle Phanatic is a great moneysaver. Who can’t use another really absorbent bathmat? Working Triple-A team more familiar than Big Phils this year anyhow. “Magic Number” to elimination would have been too difficult to calculate this early. Your kid’s Little League team … Continue reading

How Many Microsoft Tech Support People Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Q: How many MicroSoft tech support people dies it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Churches Don’t Ask Clown Ministries to Return

10. They force people to smile during the 8 am service. 9. It’s hard to say with dignity, “The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody.” 8. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under the pew cushions. 7. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime. 6. Clowns wearing … Continue reading

employee review

Sir, While working with Mr. Murthy, I have always found him working studiously and sincerely at his table without idling or gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always finishes the given assignment in time. He will always be … Continue reading

Four Engineers Travelling In A Car

There are four engineers travelling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. “Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading