Why Ask Why

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when … Continue reading

How The Angel Got To Be On Top Of The Christmas Tree

It just happened to be one of those dreadful days for Santa… It started of when he woke up groaning with a dreadful headache. But with so many things to do before Christmas Eve a few days later, there was no way that he could permit himself time to rest. … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

Murphy’s Laws & Corollaries

(picked these up from all over) ============================================================================ Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. Murphy’s Corollary: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Murphy’s Corollary: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious Murphy’s Constant: Matter will be damaged in … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating,” which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really … Continue reading

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Quotes By Women

I feel convinced that a girl would never let herself be brought to the altar, no, she would probably refuse completely, if she knew *everything*… — Queen Victoria I married below my standards – all women do. — Nancy Astor You meet a lot of smart guys with stupid wives, … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading