Bill And The Pickle Slicer

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he … Continue reading

Birth Order

Composed by Jim Muncy Birth Order: Satire From a Youngest Child My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby Move First Child: I placed … Continue reading

You Know You Are Addicted to the Internet When…

You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act. You kiss your girlfriend’s home page. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search. You refuse … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

How The Angel Got To Be On Top Of The Christmas Tree

It just happened to be one of those dreadful days for Santa… It started of when he woke up groaning with a dreadful headache. But with so many things to do before Christmas Eve a few days later, there was no way that he could permit himself time to rest. … Continue reading

You Might Be a Redneck If…

You ever cut your grass and found a car. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren’t. You think the stock market has a fence around it. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater. You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu. … Continue reading

Internet Geek — Top 10

TOP 10 SIGNS YOU ARE AN INTERNET GEEK (10) When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address. (9) You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?” (8) Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends … Continue reading

Husband and wife finally hear the great news: They aren’t dead

From: Houston Chronicle Date: Monday, Feb. 19, 1996 Title: Husband and wife finally hear the great news: They aren’t dead In a series of bizarre circumstances and incredible coincidences, a south-east Harris County woman was told her husband was dead only to have him walk into the hospital waiting room … Continue reading

Reasons why cucumbers are better than beer

Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer —————————————— Cucumbers won’t give you a hangover. Cucumbers have fewer calories. Your wife won’t complain as much about you sitting around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers. You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment. Your wife won’t complain … Continue reading

Bible Stories Retold by Youngsters

It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world: In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s … Continue reading

You Might Be An Engineer If…

If your wife hasn’t the foggiest idea what you do at work If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE If you wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa) If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes IF THE ONLY JOKES YOU RECEIVE … Continue reading

Software update

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0 and it’s a memory hogger, has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he didn’t ask for them, Wife1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as … Continue reading

more OJ

The makers of BUCK knives have made a lucrative offer to OJ for endorsement of their product line. And it comes just in time, too: heard this morning that Hertz has fired him and NBC may not be using his services anymore, either. – – — It is not wonderful … Continue reading

True Stories: Iron, Zippers and Broken Arms

Some people tend to cover up the truth when they show up in public with a black eye, broken arm or using cruches, and then try to explain what happened. Elaborate stories are concocted, but nearly every time the truth comes out, sometimes quite soon, sometimes years later. TRUE STORY … Continue reading

Suicide?

On March 23, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound to the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the deceased had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent … Continue reading

What Not to Name Your Dog

Everyone who has a dog names him “Rover” or “Spot“. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, “Me too.” Then … Continue reading

girlfriend communication guide

GIRLFRIEND COMMUNICATION GUIDE ================================ WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND /WIFE SAYS … /WIFE REALLY MEANS * You want < => You want * We need < => I want * It’s your decision < => The correct decision should be obvious by now. * Do what you want < … Continue reading

children’s Christian church answers

Some children’s answers to church school questions (released by a Church of England publication : * Noah’s wife was called Joan of Arc * Henry VIII thought so much of Wolsley that he made him a cardigan * The fifth commandment is “humour thy father and mother” * Lot’s wife … Continue reading

Church Poking

A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in … Continue reading

beyond the beltway

The Washington Post January 01, 1996 Beyond the Beltway 1995; You Thought Things Were Strange Here — by Ken Ringle, Washington Post Staff Writer You say you guessed right on O.J., kept up with Bosnia, figured out the federal budget impasse and even beat the spread on both Redskins-Cowboys games, … Continue reading

what is marriage?

SUBJECT…… THE “LIGHTER” SIDE OF MARRIAGE 1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!). 2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. 3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for … Continue reading