Another 10 Bumper Stickers

“Disney World – A people trap operated by a mouse” “Wanted: women, no experience necessary. Contact Mars.” “I love cats. They taste just like chicken” “If it weren’t for politicians, we wouldn’t need assault rifles!” “Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician” “Lead me not into temptation…I can find it myself” … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

Code 9 Phone Call

“This is Brucie Kaufman of Scarsdale, New York” “Your number please?” asked the operator. “I’m nine years old.” “Number please, sir” “I wanta talk with President Johnson” “I just want the phone number,” the operator insisted. “I dunno. My name is Brucie Kaufman.” “Do you want the party’s address?” the … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

White Trash

You’ve spray painted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass. You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. When someone asks to see your I.D. you show your belt buckle. Your Junior and Senior Proms had a day care. Your … Continue reading

Intresting News Stories from around the World.

Compiled by Ivan Weiss. From The Seattle Times, Saturday, October 14, 1995. A small group of policemen are trying to change a negative image of Bangkok law enforcement and ease driver tensions by dancing as they direct traffic. Twelve Ventura, Calif., cheerleaders crammed into a Voltswagen Bug during a contest. … Continue reading

Real Programmers

Don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell Quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food. Don’t write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can’t do system programming. Don’t write specs. Users should be grateful for … Continue reading

Only in Arkansas

Here’s more on why Arkansas is everyone’s favorite state. This is from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette: “Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and hit a tree near Cotton Plant on State Highway 38 early Monday morning…” “Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and … Continue reading

Top Ten Rejected Disney Movie Titles

“101 Snoop Doggy Doggs” “Beauty and the Baldwin Brother” “Minnie’s Battle with Helium Addiction” “Newt!: The Musical” “Old Yeller Hops the White House Fence” “Barry White and the Seven Dwarfs” “Mickey the Dismissed Juror” “Fievel Visits a Gay Disco” “The Parent Trap ’95, Starring Lyle and Erik Menendez” “Swiss Family … Continue reading

Pizza Intelligence: An Update

Note: OPSEC is short for “Operations Security”, i.e. ensuring a potential enemy cannot determine what you’re about to do. Earlier this year [1991], we reported that Domino’s Pizza claims it can predict when the government is about to undertake some sort of major activity based upon the increase in pizza … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

If the World was 100 People

“If we could shrink the population of the earth to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look like this: There would be 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 Western Hemisphere people (both North & South Americans), and 8 Africans. Seventy persons would be … Continue reading