100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Best Man stuff

_____________ The Best Man’s toast to the bride & groom at my wedding was: “… and, remembering Socrates, who said: ‘By all means, a man should marry. If it succeeds, he will be happy beyond his dreams. If it does not, he will become a Philosopher.’ Here’s hoping we never … Continue reading

Top ten Hillary Clinton’s tips for making your man happy

September 24, 1993 ========================================================= ========================================================= 10. Ketchup-flavored lip-gloss 9. On special occasions, have the marine band play Fleetwwod Mac hits 8. “Air force one mile high club” 7. Give him pep talks: “Compared to you, Lincoln was just a monkey in a top hat” 6. Lean close, put your mouth … Continue reading

Passing the Exam

A TRUE STORY (FROM DARTMOUTH) A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. “I would do *anything* to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers, … Continue reading