30 fun things to do while driving

30 Fun Things to do When Driving (author unkown) ——————————————————— 1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang. 3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

bad Irish joke

Q. How do you get a one armed Irish man out of a tree. A. Wave to him.

chicken physics

How Many Generic Chickens Can You Fit Into a Generic Pontiac? A while back, someone asked how many generic chickens would fit into a generic Pontiac. This question has been on my mind recently, so I decided to work out this problem, for the benefit of all humanity. I. It … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

Real Programmers

Don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell Quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food. Don’t write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can’t do system programming. Don’t write specs. Users should be grateful for … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading