Dictonary of Gardening

Or the real truth about that funny place round the back. Aaaa Sound produced by dozing gardener when stung by bee trapped in said gardener’s trouser leg. Annual Any plant that dies before blooming. Aphid Insect pest that inphests gardens and makes gardeners phoam at the mouth, stamp their pheet … Continue reading

Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid

A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. Dumber than a box of hair. A few peas short of a casserole. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel’s … Continue reading

absurd warning labels

The Washington Post: Sunday May 14, 1995, Final Edition Report from Week 110, in which we asked you to come up with absurd warning labels for common products. We loved one particular entry for its wonderful idiocy: On a cardboard windshield sun shade: “Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield … Continue reading

Top 10 Warnings

TOP 10 CIGARETTE WARNINGS TOBACCO EXECUTIVES WOULD LIKE TO SEE 10. Medical studies have proven you can still live with only one lung. 9. Most forms of cancer are treatable; at least for a while. 8. This is only one of hundreds of products that are slowly killing you. 7. … Continue reading