WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED TENURE AT THE UNIVERSITY

1. Because he had only one major publication. 2. It was in a foreign journal. 3. It had no references. 4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal. 5. Questions about authenticity. 6. What has He published since? 7. His cooperative efforts have been very limited. 8. The scientific community … Continue reading

2 Top Tens

——————————————— TOP TEN REASONS THE BRITISH LOST THE COLONIES ——————————————— 10. Hard to shoot straight with sissified powdered wig falling in your eyes 9. Wanted to just lose New Jersey but got carried away 8. Colonists on steroids 7. Spent too much time guessing who’s gay in the royal family … Continue reading

classifieds

FROM THE CLASSIFIEDS 2 female Boston terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555- 1234. Leave mess. Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special–turkey $2.35; chicken or beef $2.25; children … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Dating “Don’ts” For Guys

There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date… “Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?” “I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.” “No wine for me tonight. … Continue reading

32 Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men

It’s enjoyable hard or soft. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better. It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it. You always want to swallow. It won’t complain if you share it with friends. It’s “quick and convenient”. You can enjoy it more than once. … Continue reading

Wedding: True Story

If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have balls, forget about it. This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson. A buddy of mine from my baseball team knows a guy that was at the wedding. This was a huge wedding … Continue reading

Humor: Medical Humor,mildly offensive ethnics, in general

You might be in the medical field if…. 1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you. 2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change. 3. You find humor in other people’s stupidity. 4. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac. … Continue reading

How the Gingrinch Stole Congress

——————————– How the Gingrinch Stole Congress by Lenore Skenazy (Funny Times / April 1995) ——————————– Every Rep down in Congress liked Clinton somewhat, Except for the Gingrinch, who simply did NOT| He hated Bill Clinton| He hated his wife| He vowed to torment them the rest of his life| The … Continue reading