What do you call…..?

2 men with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Curt and Rod a guy in a field with no arms or legs? Home Plate an arm-less man hanging on a wall? Art an arm-less man floating in the water? Bob an arm-less man lying on the ground? … Continue reading

The Complete Guide to Apartment Ad Deciphering in California

The Complete Guide to Apartment Ad Deciphering in California – from a post by Justine Ehlers ********************************************** What They Say What It Means ============= ============= spacious hole in the wall to anyone living in their car that’s why we’re charging $200 above the going rate easy access to Particularly in … Continue reading

Calories Burned: Forget Jogging and the Stairmaster

A recent report by the Southern California Medical Association pointed out that proper weight control and physical fitness cannot be attained by dieting alone. People who spend most of their day behind a desk face a particular problem in losing weight. Too many of these people fail to realize that … Continue reading

Cool Things Todo In A College Dorm Shower Stall

Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, “I didn’t know I had one of THOSE!” Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure you clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that your shirt tends to bleed … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

32 Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men

It’s enjoyable hard or soft. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better. It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it. You always want to swallow. It won’t complain if you share it with friends. It’s “quick and convenient”. You can enjoy it more than once. … Continue reading

Health Insurance Claim

S.C. Anderson PO Box 1302 Minnetonka, MN 55345 Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016 Dear Sir: This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. Specifically, you asked for an … Continue reading

Cartoon Laws

Cartoon Law I. – Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per … Continue reading

more cat rules

STARING Treat your humans to an unwavering, unblinking stare for several minutes at a time. This has the effect of sensitizing them to your presence, and unnerving them by making them wonder if there is something wrong with them. Especially recommended at meal times. Occasionally vary the stare technique by … Continue reading

The CEO And The Three Envelopes

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. … Continue reading

Gag Headlines

Some gag headlines on how the media would handle the end of the world. USA Today: WE’RE DEAD. Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS. National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN. Inc. Magazine: 10 WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE. Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION … Continue reading

CIA Interview

A man interviewing for the CIA is told he is doing well, but must pass one final test before being accepted as an agent. “Your wife is in the other room,” they tell him. “We want you to take this gun and kill her as proof of your ultimate loyalty … Continue reading