Top 10 Diseases Popular At Westminster

Arner-Gollinger Syndrome (AR-NUR GAWL-IN-GUR) – Inability to stay off Keystone Equinexcremosis (EH-KWIN-EKS-CREH-MO-SIS) – Stepping on a road apple Cardioburgis (CAR-DEE-O-BUR-GHIS) – Heart tremors caused by too many TUB burgers Oculabilitis (AUCK-YOU-LAB-ILL-I-TIS) – Burnt retinas of those who sit in front of a Information Systems Lab computer too long Pescatosis (PES-KA-TOE-SIS) … Continue reading

Top 10 Changes I Forsee for 1999

We might just have a decent CS program soon Keith Olbermann will get pissed at Fox Sports and return to ESPN The Apocalypse wil occur in Washington when the Whore of Babylon rides into DC on the Serpent (let Babylon=Southern CA, Whore=Monica Lewinsky, The serpent=I’ll leave to your imagination) I’ll … Continue reading

The Top 10 Ways You Can Tell If You’re An Engineering Student

Your standard pick-up line is, “Hey, baby, what’s your URL?” Your car’s oil filter is made out of toilet paper Your graphing calculator has more computing power than a Pentium 200 You window-shop at Radio Shack You’ve ever debated who was a better captain… Kirk or Picard You own more … Continue reading

Top 10 Predictions For The 1998 Major League Baseball Playoffs

Sandy Alomar will spit in John Hirschbeck’s face to keep the family tradition alive Jeffrey Mayer will be banned from any Game 6 for the Yankees MLB will lift the ban on Mayer when Steinbrenner signs him to a 15-day contract to play right field for “defensive purposes” Matt Karchner … Continue reading

Top 10 Reasons Why December Sucks

December + New Wilmington, PA = 3 feet of snow Post-Christmas Letdown Have to start worrying about those damned W-2’s, W-4’s and W-9’s again Computers shut down around this time – like Keystone I catch my annual stomach virus Two words: frozen highways Getting picked up by police for public … Continue reading