Dictonary of Gardening

Or the real truth about that funny place round the back. Aaaa Sound produced by dozing gardener when stung by bee trapped in said gardener’s trouser leg. Annual Any plant that dies before blooming. Aphid Insect pest that inphests gardens and makes gardeners phoam at the mouth, stamp their pheet … Continue reading

Top 10 Things To Do With Soldering Irons

Dental Work Attitude Adjustor Tool for working on a Computer Center computer Tool for working on a Computer Center worker Coffee Warmer Gettin’ our groove on, man! Tub Food Cooker Lobotomizer Rectal probe Lesbian tampon

Top Condom Slogans (1 of 3)

Cover your stump before you hump Before you attack her, wrap your whacker Don’t be silly, protect your Willie When in doubt shroud you spout Don’t be a loner, cover your boner You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong If your not going to sack it, go home … Continue reading

What I Learned in College

ON METAPHYSICS Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you’ve been kicked in the head like this before. ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES There is a CD out entitled “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane“. If you buy this, take it … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Fellows

Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Fellows: 5. I’m not going to grant any extensions. 4. Call me any time. I’m always available. 3. It doesn’t matter what I think; write what you believe. 2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool. 1. My other section is much better … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading