Carter beter than Clinton-part 1 of 2

100 Reasons Why Jimmy Carter Was a Better President Than Bill Clinton by P.J. O’Rourke The American Spectator September 1993 *Jimmy Carter had a nicer wife, *A smarter baby brother, *A less frightening mom, *And a…No, we can’t bring ourselves to make fun of the first daughter, especially since some … Continue reading

Rabbi Playing Golf

The great Rabbi of a big city is a golf addict. He likes nothing like playing golf on a warm sunny afternoon. Unfortunately, on shabbat, he has to refrain himself. This is a big dilemma for his soul; the temptation to play golf, and the consciousness of doing wrong if … Continue reading

office party

Dear Friends: When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness and since several of you have openly called me a dirty son-of-a-bitch to my face, I know I must have done something wrong at our office party last Friday. The Office … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

30 things to do at a funeral

1. Tell the widow that the deceased’s last wish was that she make love with you. 2. Tell the undertaker that he can’t close the coffin until you find your contact lens. 3. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first. 4. Tell the widow that you’re … Continue reading

Top 10 things to say or do to annoying co-workers

The next time your co-workers get on your nerves & you have just had it with them, do what I do… Tell them to alphebetize their m&m’s Tell them there is a Moron’s Anonymous meeting at 5 in the middle lane of 101 Leave a wet lollipop on their chair Follow them … Continue reading