New Teacher Regulations

TO: ALL STAFF FROM: OFFICE OF SUPERINTENDANT RE: TEACHER IN SERVICE TRAINING SCHEDULE (T.I.T.S) In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better T.I.T.S for each employee. We are therefore, pleased to announce the implementation of the Special High … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

child behavior characteristics

As a student teacher in college, I received this list of “politically correct” characteristics which help describe undesirable behavior to a child’s parents. Here are a few of the undesirable characteristics some children have and how teachers are supposed to communicate the behavior without offending the parents: Characteristic often A … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

write with your other hand

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: “What about extreme … Continue reading

Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin’s teacher is finishing up her lesson, and before starting the next lesson, she asks the class if there are any questions. Calvin raises his hand, and the teacher says, “Yes, Calvin, what is your question?” So Calvin asks, “What is the meaning of human existence?” The teacher says, “I … Continue reading

Happy Butt

There was this 2nd grade school teacher and on the first day of school she was going over the rules and wanted everyone to introduce themselves. She told them right off, that one thing she would not tolerate in her classroom was profanity or bad language. So she proceded to … Continue reading

Where is Jesus?

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. … Continue reading

2nd Graders Drawing

There was a class of second graders. For their assignment, the teacher decided that they would draw a class picture, where each pupil draws something on the picture, then hands it to the next pupil who will Add to it. So the teacher starts off by giving the blank sheet … Continue reading

2 * 2

An assemblage of the most gifted minds in the world were all posed the following question: “What is 2 * 2 ?” The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it’s old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces “3.99”. The physicist consults his technical references, sets up … Continue reading

Little Johnny

Little Johnny’s sitting in class and the teacher is playing the guessing game, where a student would describe something and the class would guess what it was. Little Johnny keeps putting his hand up and the teacher keeps ignoring him, KNOWING that he would say something filthy. Everybody else got … Continue reading

Easter Humor

One Sunday late in Lent a Sunday School teacher decided to ask her class what they remembered about Easter. The first little fellow suggested that Easter was when all the family comes to the house and they eat a big turkey and watch football. The teacher suggested that perhaps he … Continue reading