Top 10 Surprises in the Winter Olympics

Women’s Hockey is actually a sport (def: “Sport, n.: anything that the U.S. can whoop your ass in”) Southern Baptists protested the two-man-luge because “It just don’t look right” The world found out that Picabo Street isn’t a kids’ show on PBS “Happy” Harada didn’t choke! U.S. Men’s Hockey team … Continue reading

Top Condom Slogans (1 of 3)

Cover your stump before you hump Before you attack her, wrap your whacker Don’t be silly, protect your Willie When in doubt shroud you spout Don’t be a loner, cover your boner You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong If your not going to sack it, go home … Continue reading

Surprise Graduation

Dear Dad, Thanks for the money to begin the second semester with. The only trouble is, I graduated yesterday. I know it’s sort of a surprise, with me being an entering freshman only several months ago. It was sort of a surprise to me too. I went to register yesterday … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Best Man stuff

_____________ The Best Man’s toast to the bride & groom at my wedding was: “… and, remembering Socrates, who said: ‘By all means, a man should marry. If it succeeds, he will be happy beyond his dreams. If it does not, he will become a Philosopher.’ Here’s hoping we never … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

MIT – John Mongan

MIT certainly has a reputation to be proud of, but its admissions department went a little over-board, I think. I actually received this letter, and actually mailed the following (original) response. April 18, 1994 Mr. John T. Mongan 123 Main Street Smalltown, California 94123-4567 Dear John: You’ve got the grades. … Continue reading