In-class Assignment: Tandem Writting

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first … Continue reading

Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid

A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. Dumber than a box of hair. A few peas short of a casserole. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel’s … Continue reading

Standardized Bonehead Reply Form (Flaming)

(original by David Parsons) I took exception to your recent post to (newsgroup) email. It was (check all that apply): lame. stupid. much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable. Your attention is drawn to the fact that: what you posted/said has been done before. (Mark … Continue reading

Playing Gorilla

An unemployed actor is getting pretty desperate for work. He happens upon this guy from the zoo and he’s looking for actors. The guy explains that they spent so much money on getting the habitat just right, they ran out of money to import the ape they wanted. They want … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

College Vocabulary

Word Descrption ABSENT: (n) The notation generally following your name in a class record. ADMISSIONS OFFICE: (n) Where they take you to get you to admit you’ve mooned the keynote speaker during “new student weekend.” ANATOMY: (n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risque until you find out what … Continue reading

Quotes By Women

I feel convinced that a girl would never let herself be brought to the altar, no, she would probably refuse completely, if she knew *everything*… — Queen Victoria I married below my standards – all women do. — Nancy Astor You meet a lot of smart guys with stupid wives, … Continue reading

List of “Yo Mama” Jokes

I just saw your momma walking down the hall with a matress straped to her back asking for volunteers! Your momma is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo momma is such a whore that I could’ve been your daddy, but the guy … Continue reading

Crooks are Stupid!

A D.C. radio station, WAVA with Don Geronimo and Mike O’Mera (105.1 on your F.M. dial) used to run a bit called “Crooks are Stupid!”. They read a few questionable stories that were very funny such as… A man goes to rob a bank. He brings two things: a hand … Continue reading

murphy & the army

Murphys Laws of Army Operations: 1. KISS – (Keep it Simple Stupid) 2. Suppressive fire – won’t 3. Incoming fire has right of way 4. If the enemy is in range, so are YOU! 5. Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire 6. If it’s stupid, but it works – IT … Continue reading