Top 10 Corollaries of Murphy’s Law

The more you enjoy your job, the greater the probability you’ll be laid off The bell always tolls for thee–when you have two overdue payments The more you want a beer, the more expensive it gets The woman you’re trying to pick up in the bar is either married to … Continue reading

Random thoughts

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind.” Basically, it’s made up of two separate words-“mank” and “ind.” What do these words mean? It’s … Continue reading

True story – offensive to Smokey the Bear

I hate to admit it, but this happened to me way back in 1980– A few years after graduating from college, I returned to my folks home to retrieve a considerable number of storage boxes that I had left with them. These boxes were filled with books, course notes, old … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Best Man stuff

_____________ The Best Man’s toast to the bride & groom at my wedding was: “… and, remembering Socrates, who said: ‘By all means, a man should marry. If it succeeds, he will be happy beyond his dreams. If it does not, he will become a Philosopher.’ Here’s hoping we never … Continue reading

Homer’s Beer Song

DO RE MI DRINK DOUGH… the stuff that buys me beer RAY….. the guy that sells me beer ME…… the one who drinks the beer FAR….. a long run to get beer SO…… I’ll have another beer LA…… I’ll have another beer TEA….. no thanks, I’m drinking beer And that … Continue reading

Redneck Computer Lingo

“Hard drive” — Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. “Keyboard” —- Place to hang your truck keys. “Window” —— Place in the truck to hang your guns. “Floppy” —— When you run out of Polygrip. “Modem” ——- How … Continue reading