Luckiest Man in Ireland

A guy was walking down a street in Ireland when a man approached from behind him and stuck a knife to the the guy’s throat. “Be you protestant or catholic”, the assailant asked. The guy thought “If I say I’m catholic and he’s protestant, I’m a dead man. If I … Continue reading

Heroic Failures

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British … Continue reading

top 50 things 2 do when your roommate is having sex

The top 50 things to do or say when you wake up to your roommate having sex. 50. (the obvious) “Ooooooo” 49. “That would work better the other way around..” 48. Sniff. Sniff. “Is something burning?” 47. “Damn, that’s complicated.” 46. “Wait, wait, use my pillow.” 45. “Alright already, _I_came.” … Continue reading

First Aid for Non-Medically Minded Persons

Electrocution Is he/she still connected to the power supply? If so, SWITCH OFF THE POWER IMMEDIATELY. Electricity costs an absolute fortune, and it would be going to waste. Check the victims pulse, (if you can find their wrist amongst the stack of charred bones and greasy, bubbling flesh that was … Continue reading