Signs You’ve Hired the Wrong Kid to Rake Your Leaves

He charges you by the leaf Keeps asking where he should plug in his rake Picks up leaves one at a time, dips them in nacho cheese, and eats them. Says, “This’ll just take a minute,” and starts soaking your lawn with gasoline. Your neighbor calls and asks, “Who’s that … Continue reading

Jesus Joke (clean)

The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease. St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions. Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue. “Pete, take a … Continue reading

Haircut

This blond goes in to a salon to get her hair cut. She’s wearing a pair of headphones, and the stylist says that he can’t cut her hair with the headphones on. She replies “No, you have to cut around the headphones, I can’t take them off”. They argue about this for … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Lunch (sexual)

One day a fish was swimming in a lake, and he noticed a fly buzzing around above him. He thought, “If that fly would only come down four inches I could jump and get it and have my lunch.” There was a bear watching the fish from the nearby woods … Continue reading

Tickling Trivia

1. What’s in front of a woman and back of a cow? The letter W 2. What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? A coconut 3. What’s about 6 inches long, has a vein running down it and … Continue reading