The Top 10 signs that Don Dare is going nuts

Schedules proctors for Econ/Bus. computer lab for 36 hours straight Recently decided to return back to his previous job as tenured student Started giving promotions on the basis of bribe money Now trying out “bondage & discipline” on the proctors Throws M-80s in Paul Wallace’s office Takes apart computers with … Continue reading

Things Todo at Work to Lessen Your Stress

Write hate mail (for those who are *really* stressed: Fax/email hate mail around the world) Tacks & rubber bands= bulletin board art (bonus: earn respect from co-workers who didn’t realize you had taste) Tap dance naked on the conference room table See if you can get everyone in your office … Continue reading

kinda funny

On a bright, warm spring day, somewhere on Vancouver Island a certain resident of East Indian origin was shaking his rug on his front porch. A passerby saw him, couldn’t help himself and blurted, “What is the problem? Can’t get it started?”

Excuses, excuses…

The Five Maxims of Making Excuses 1) The feebleness or banality of an excuse should never be a deterrent to its use. 2) Always put the blame on something that can’t defend itself. Children, pets, inanimate objects, and relatives living in foreign countries make perfect scapegoats. 3) Whine convincingly. 4) … Continue reading

How The Angel Got To Be On Top Of The Christmas Tree

It just happened to be one of those dreadful days for Santa… It started of when he woke up groaning with a dreadful headache. But with so many things to do before Christmas Eve a few days later, there was no way that he could permit himself time to rest. … Continue reading

Getting My Daily Exercise

One day this moron passed a guy jumping up and down on a man-hole cover. The moron noticed that the guy was saying “21…21…21…21…”. The moron stopped and watched and after awhile, said, “Duh, het buddy, whatcha doin?” “21…21…21…Getting my daily exercise…21…21…21…” “Duh, ohhh. Can I try?” “21…21…21…Sure.” The guy … Continue reading

Bill Gates – Heaven

Bill Gates died and, much to everyone’s surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area. Heaven’s reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day. Food and … Continue reading

a story with morals

IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY ONCE UPON A TIME. THERE WAS A NONCONFORMING SPARROW WHO DECIDED NOT TO FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER. HOWEVER, SOON THE WEATHER TURNED SO COLD THAT HE RELUCTANTLY STARTED TO FLY SOUTH. IN A SHORT TIME ICE BEGAN TO FORM ON HIS WINGS AND HE FELL … Continue reading

Lawyer: Too Young To Die

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. “I’m … Continue reading

candy bars …

Candy Fun ————— It was another Payday, and I was tired of being Mr. Goodbar. So I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue, and I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetart, how’d you like to Krunch on my Big … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

Why the Ethernet (Internet, Bitnet, etc..) Is Like a Penis

It can be up or down. It’s more fun when it’s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that’s the only thing … Continue reading