Top Condom Slogans (3 of 3)

Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle Can your knob then throb her swab Contain old Doug then clean her rug Cover your limb before you swim Retain your bailer then impail her Rope your dope then make some soap Net your salamander then make salad in her Cap your … Continue reading

Bird – ASCII Art

..-==””””==__ / Spread your tiny wings and fly away ___/ <0) And take the snow back with you _=”___ | Where it came from on that day =__ / | The one I love forever’s been untrue ~~_ /___ And if I could you know that I would “/ ,.=”~~~”==_””=__ … Continue reading

Ten things that sound dirty at Thanksgiving, but aren’t

Reach in and grab the giblets. Whew, that’s one terrific spread! I’m in the mood for a little dark meat. Tying the legs together will keep the insides moist. Talk about a huge breast! “and he forced his way into the end zone…” She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

More Laws

Hind’s Law #6: Make it possible to write programs in English and you will quickly discover that programmers do not know how to write in English. Steinbach’s Rule: Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle. The Law of Measuring Sticks: If all economists were placed … Continue reading

murphy-like secret laws

SECRETS’ LAW Two people are too many to keep a secret unrevealed OBSERVATION TO SECRETS’ LAW But at least two people are necessary for a secret’s being CONSEQUENCE OF THE OBSERVATION TO SECRET’S LAW Everyone will know anything much sooner than you could ever imagine ONE-MORE LAW There is nothing … Continue reading

Why the Ethernet (Internet, Bitnet, etc..) Is Like a Penis

It can be up or down. It’s more fun when it’s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that’s the only thing … Continue reading