All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 3 of 4)

Talk back to your “Rice Krispies.” All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No, I want to watch them suffer.” Change the locks on the door. Don’t let your roommate in unless s/he says the secret … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 1 of 4)

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. Twitch a lot. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. Become a subgenius. Inject his/her Twinkies … Continue reading

Honeymooners

A young couple arrives at a hotel and the desk clerk signs them into the honeymoon suite. 30 minutes later, the groom comes back down stairs and asks the desk clerk, “Is there anything to do around here?” Desk Clerk, “Excuse me, but aren’t you on your honeymoon?” Groom, “Yes?” … Continue reading

Top 10 Predictions For The 1998 Major League Baseball Playoffs

Sandy Alomar will spit in John Hirschbeck’s face to keep the family tradition alive Jeffrey Mayer will be banned from any Game 6 for the Yankees MLB will lift the ban on Mayer when Steinbrenner signs him to a 15-day contract to play right field for “defensive purposes” Matt Karchner … Continue reading

Seinfeld-isms

What’s with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking — “Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I’d better carpet the toilet too.” What’s with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate … Continue reading

Humorously Translated Signs From Around The World

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden … Continue reading

Hard To Find Collectables

Official Dan Rostenkowski postage stamp dispensers American Lung Association ash trays M.A.D.D. 12 volt beer coolers American Heart Association butter molds A.S.P.C.A. riding crops Branch Davidian matchbook covers Womens’ Temperance League brandy snifters A.A. shot glasses USMC issue ear rings Save-The-Whales scrimshaw whaling ships “I Visited the World Trade Center” … Continue reading

Things That Piss Me Off

“Put stamp here” instructions on envelopes When you can see a ventriloquist’s lips moving Co-workers who jam the copier. then flee the scene of the crime Fans who do “the wave” too many times Running to answer a phone that’s ringing on TV Having to make idle conversation with your … Continue reading

The Top Ten Changes If Starfleet Had Sponsors

O’Brien would say “Thank you for using the Federation Express transporter. When you absolutely,  positively have to get there instantly” Starfleet uniforms would carry Pepsi logos and say “Pepsi, the choice of the Next Generation Main bridge viewscreen would have “VH1” in the corner Holodeck doors would say Sony Trinitron … Continue reading