More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Beavis and Butthead Pickup Lines

Uh, hey baby. Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said “come.” You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let’s like get into each other’s life or whatever. Uh, like let’s drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

Quotes By Women

I feel convinced that a girl would never let herself be brought to the altar, no, she would probably refuse completely, if she knew *everything*… — Queen Victoria I married below my standards – all women do. — Nancy Astor You meet a lot of smart guys with stupid wives, … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time Surfing Web Sites

Your opening line is: “So what’s your home page address?” Your best friend is someone you’ve never met. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 1.1” on one of the clouds. You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Web … Continue reading

Humorously Translated Signs From Around The World

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden … Continue reading

The Top 17 Signs You’re at a Bad Renaissance Festival

The castle and village are made entirely of Legos. Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg. Festival activities include “Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest.” Eight minute drum solo in the middle of “Greensleeves.” “Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California Roll!” … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

Driving Tips for Maine

Living smack in the middle of a place like Maine means that you have to drive a fairly good distance to get anywhere that doesn’t look like a Jack Daniel’s ad. You know the ones where there’s a black and white picture of some old redneck with no teeth to … Continue reading

The Top 16 Signs Your Company Is Planning A Layoff

CEO frequently overheard mumbling, “Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe.” Your workday consists of coming in at 10, thinking up Top Five entries with 30 of your coworkers, then leaving at 4. Dr. Kervorkian hired as “Transition Consultant.” Windows 95 shutdown screen reads, “It’s Now Safe to Start Looking for Work.” Company softball team downsized to chess … Continue reading

The Top Ten Changes If Starfleet Had Sponsors

O’Brien would say “Thank you for using the Federation Express transporter. When you absolutely,  positively have to get there instantly” Starfleet uniforms would carry Pepsi logos and say “Pepsi, the choice of the Next Generation Main bridge viewscreen would have “VH1” in the corner Holodeck doors would say Sony Trinitron … Continue reading