The Top 10 mistakes I made in Spain

Trying to sneak in three pounds of C4 in my backpack Pissing on the gate at the Royal Palace in Madrid Getting drunk and claiming Jose Maria Olazabal was a pansy Trying to say “Wednesday” (miercoles) and end up saying “shit” (mierda) Anonymously crank-calling the American Embassy to tell them … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Top Ten Amish Spring Break Activities

Drink molasses ’til you heave Wet bonnet contest Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy Buttermilk keggar Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really bitchin’ Clydesdale Get a tattoo: “Born to raise barns” Cruise streets of Belleville shouting insults at people with zippers Sleep ’til 6 … Continue reading

More Benefits of Getting to Work Early

Sit on your fully inflated Haemorrhoid comfort tube without fear of ridicule. Rifle your colleague’s desks for their payslips. Then, when suitably angry, swap the slips of the lowest & highest earners. Grunt freely & enthusiastically whilst on the lavatory. Swap the smoothest mouse in the building for yours which … Continue reading