Top Condom Slogans (1 of 3)

Cover your stump before you hump Before you attack her, wrap your whacker Don’t be silly, protect your Willie When in doubt shroud you spout Don’t be a loner, cover your boner You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong If your not going to sack it, go home … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

Why Ask Why

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when … Continue reading

Rabbi Playing Golf

The great Rabbi of a big city is a golf addict. He likes nothing like playing golf on a warm sunny afternoon. Unfortunately, on shabbat, he has to refrain himself. This is a big dilemma for his soul; the temptation to play golf, and the consciousness of doing wrong if … Continue reading

Non-Religious-isms

Here are a few interesting views on politics: Communisim: If you have two cows you give both cows to the government, and then the government sells you some of the milk. Socialism: If you have two cows, you give both cows to the government and then the government gives you … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

murphy & the army

Murphys Laws of Army Operations: 1. KISS – (Keep it Simple Stupid) 2. Suppressive fire – won’t 3. Incoming fire has right of way 4. If the enemy is in range, so are YOU! 5. Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire 6. If it’s stupid, but it works – IT … Continue reading

Top 25 Reasons that Hockey is Better than Sex

It’s ok to bleed during play. If it’s a bad game, you can call a time out. Every player usually has two or three sticks to choose from. There is a limit to the sizes of all equipment. You can still play when you get married. You can change on … Continue reading

34 Things I learned from Video Games

34 things I learned from video games: 1. There is no problem that cannot be overcome by violence. 2. You can overcome most adversaries simply by having enough quarters. 3. If it moves, KILL IT! 4. Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. 5. One lone “good guy” … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot

Unix: You shoot yourself in the foot. DOS: You keep running up against the one-bullet barrier. MS-Windows: The gun blows up in your hand. Windows NT: The gun is so huge and unwieldy that you have to keep swapping it from one hand to the other. OS/2: The gun and … Continue reading

Lunch (sexual)

One day a fish was swimming in a lake, and he noticed a fly buzzing around above him. He thought, “If that fly would only come down four inches I could jump and get it and have my lunch.” There was a bear watching the fish from the nearby woods … Continue reading

The Programmer’s Quick Guide To The Languages

The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it difficult to remember what language you’re currently using. This handy reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who find themselves in such a dilemma. TASK: Shoot … Continue reading