Movie Depiction of Computers

Word processors never display a cursor. You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences. All monitors display inch-high letters. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don’t, have incredibly powerful … Continue reading

RULES for DEPRESSION

1. Try to be PERFECT. 2. Be very critical of any mistakes or failures you might make. 3. Do what you SHOULD do, even if it is not what you want to do. 4. Always do what you are supposed to be doing. 5. Make other persons happy at any … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

More Laws

Hind’s Law #6: Make it possible to write programs in English and you will quickly discover that programmers do not know how to write in English. Steinbach’s Rule: Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle. The Law of Measuring Sticks: If all economists were placed … Continue reading

murphy-like secret laws

SECRETS’ LAW Two people are too many to keep a secret unrevealed OBSERVATION TO SECRETS’ LAW But at least two people are necessary for a secret’s being CONSEQUENCE OF THE OBSERVATION TO SECRET’S LAW Everyone will know anything much sooner than you could ever imagine ONE-MORE LAW There is nothing … Continue reading

COLLECTABLES (part two)

27) LaLeche League baby bottles 28) Planned Parenthood “Just Say No” buttons 29) Southern Baptist Convention dance cards 30) Amish remote control garage door openers 31) NAACP lawn jockies 32) Marvin Gay’s recording of “Oh, My Papa” 33) ASPCA spurs 34) Tickets to the Annual Hillel Ham Supper 35) The … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

T.H.E.Y.

Who is “they” anyway? “They,” of course, are a little-known Federal agency supported by YOUR tax dollars. Cloaked in more secrecy than the NSA, “they” are located in the dungeon of another Federal building at the corner of 7th St. and Independence Ave. NW. “Their” annual operating budget is well … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading