Offensive Chinese Food Menu

Fresh Every 2 7 Days PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided SUC SUM TIT Children’s Special YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted LUNCHEON SPECIALS SUM YUNG CHICK [$6 99] Different and Delicious WON HUNG LO [$6 99] Chinese Meatballs SUM DUM … Continue reading

Contradicting proverbs (amusing, not necessarily funny)

The following proverbs are used by English speakers, but which have some contradictory interpretations. Some proverbs that contradict one another? Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost. Nothing venture, nothing gain. Fools rush in where … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

the Beatles

THE BEATLES ARE BACK Top ten things heard while playing “Free as a Bird” backward in Windows Media Player: 10. Paul eats red meat…Paul eats red meat… 9. Number 95…number 95…number 95… 8. I am the egg man. They are the egg men. I am a profit center. 7. How … Continue reading