All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 4 of 4)

Invite your roommate to sleep over. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything. Walk into walls. Leave little notes in the shower for him/her. Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, “I’m melting, I’m melting!” … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 3 of 4)

Talk back to your “Rice Krispies.” All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No, I want to watch them suffer.” Change the locks on the door. Don’t let your roommate in unless s/he says the secret … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 2 of 4)

Dress in drag. Buy Lays potato chips with all your money. Stack the bags in the middle of the room in a pyramid. Eat them whenever your roommate is in the room. For every one you eat, offer your roommate one, each time telling him, “No one can eat just … Continue reading

All The Ways To Confuse, Annoy, And Screw With Your Roommate – (page 1 of 4)

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. Twitch a lot. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. Become a subgenius. Inject his/her Twinkies … Continue reading

Rules of Shared Apartment Living

If someone calls while you are on the phone, do NOT answer the call waiting signals, after all your conversation to your boyfriend’s, cousin’s, sister’s, ex-best friend’s, father-in-law’s, stepson is probably too important to be interrupted. Of course there is no need to record any messages on a piece of … Continue reading

College News

Dear Parent(s), Date: ______________ I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: _________________________ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ___________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

More Things Todo To Your Roomate

Ever time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, “It’s not funny anymore“. Every … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Studying is Better Than Sex!

You can usually find someone to do it with. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place, and pick up where you left off. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame. When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else has … Continue reading

5 Ways to Make a Good Impression on Your New Roommate

For those of you going away to school this fall or for parents of soon-to-be college students: 5 Ways to Make a Good Impression on Your New Roommate 1. Spend the entire first day lying on your bed crying. Every time your roommate asks you, “What’s wrong?” just shake your … Continue reading

FIfty More Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Invite your invisible friends over for a few weeks. Blame them when all his beer is gone. Be convincing. Get a Brother P-Touch labeler. Label EVERYTHING!!! When ever your girlfriend sleeps over, leave wearing her clothes. Hide all your roomate’s stuff and tell him that he never lived with you. … Continue reading