Offensive Chinese Food Menu

Fresh Every 2 7 Days PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided SUC SUM TIT Children’s Special YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted LUNCHEON SPECIALS SUM YUNG CHICK [$6 99] Different and Delicious WON HUNG LO [$6 99] Chinese Meatballs SUM DUM … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

elvis and jesus

THE TWO KINGS Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor” (Matthew 22:39). Elvis said, “Don’t Be Cruel” (RCA, 1956). Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters. Elvis Presley has 12 letters. Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd. Jesus said, “Man shall not live by bread alone” (Matthew 4:4). Elvis loved … Continue reading

Top Ten Things Overheard At The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Inductions

“Bono, Yoko. Yoko, Bono” “I’m sorry, but no one under 18 will be admitted unless they’re Bill Wyman’s date” “Jerry Garcia couldn’t make it tonight — here to accept on his behalf is a bearded fat guy we pulled in off the street” “Is that feedback or is Yoko Ono … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Quotes By Women

I feel convinced that a girl would never let herself be brought to the altar, no, she would probably refuse completely, if she knew *everything*… — Queen Victoria I married below my standards – all women do. — Nancy Astor You meet a lot of smart guys with stupid wives, … Continue reading

The Top 17 Signs You’re at a Bad Renaissance Festival

The castle and village are made entirely of Legos. Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg. Festival activities include “Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest.” Eight minute drum solo in the middle of “Greensleeves.” “Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California Roll!” … Continue reading

Your Guide To Modern Creative Artistic Types

creative artistic type dominant personality trait secondary personality traits distinguishing features haunting question how to annoy them Writer Self-Absorption Pomposity Irritability Whining Nervous twitching Bad Posture “Am I just a hack?” Say:”But how do you make a living?” Painter Self-Obsession Delusions of Grandeur Spattered pants “Should I move to New … Continue reading

10 Reasons Libby Dole would be a better Presidential candidate than Bob

10 Reasons Libby Dole would be a better Presidential candidate than Bob Dole: 1. Libby has a better smile than Bob. 2. Libby hasn’t retired. 3. Libby’s a lifelong Republican. Bob’s family were Democrats. 4. As President of the American Bloodsuckers Union, Libby actually has some executive experience. 5. Libby … Continue reading

Gag Headlines

Some gag headlines on how the media would handle the end of the world. USA Today: WE’RE DEAD. Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS. National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN. Inc. Magazine: 10 WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE. Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION … Continue reading