fishing trip

It seems tht a trio of buddies drove several hundred miles to their favorite fishing spot. The driver said, “Boy, am I beat!” and fell asleep immediately. The others played a joke on him: they reset his alarm clock and watch from 10 P.M. to 4:55 A.M., got undressd and … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

Best Man stuff

_____________ The Best Man’s toast to the bride & groom at my wedding was: “… and, remembering Socrates, who said: ‘By all means, a man should marry. If it succeeds, he will be happy beyond his dreams. If it does not, he will become a Philosopher.’ Here’s hoping we never … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Reasons Why I Can’t Go Out With You….

I’d LOVE to, but … I have to floss my cat. I’ve dedicated my life to linguini. I need to spend more time with my blender. It wouldn’t be fair to the other Beautiful People. It’s my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish. I don’t go out on days that end … Continue reading