drunk decoy

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violators of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. He then sat … Continue reading

Product Warnings For Physicists

WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them. HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of … Continue reading

beyond the beltway

The Washington Post January 01, 1996 Beyond the Beltway 1995; You Thought Things Were Strange Here — by Ken Ringle, Washington Post Staff Writer You say you guessed right on O.J., kept up with Bosnia, figured out the federal budget impasse and even beat the spread on both Redskins-Cowboys games, … Continue reading

Sesame Street Gone Mad

IMPORTANT BREAKING SESAME STREET NEWS! AP Online AP 11/17 2:55 EDT V055 Copyright 1994. All Rights Reserved. NEW YORK NEW YORK (AP) — Big Bird, the famed friendly muppet of Seseme Street, has apparently gone on a rampage. Several muppets are known to be dead; including Prarie Dawn, Oscar the … Continue reading