Signs You’ve Hired the Wrong Kid to Rake Your Leaves

He charges you by the leaf Keeps asking where he should plug in his rake Picks up leaves one at a time, dips them in nacho cheese, and eats them. Says, “This’ll just take a minute,” and starts soaking your lawn with gasoline. Your neighbor calls and asks, “Who’s that … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Churches Don’t Ask Clown Ministries to Return

10. They force people to smile during the 8 am service. 9. It’s hard to say with dignity, “The sermon today will be given by Brother Umpa-Doody.” 8. Whoopee cushions inevitably appear under the pew cushions. 7. Sermons take a lot longer when they are in pantomime. 6. Clowns wearing … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading