Hamster Power

42 ways to get electric power from hamsters -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- 1. Stick copper and zinc electrode-needles in opposite ends of hamster. Use in series for higher voltage. -gwh 2. Shove them back and forth in Richard Gere’s butt. Creates static electricity. 3. Go to Radio Chack and offer them the hamster … Continue reading

First Aid for Non-Medically Minded Persons

Electrocution Is he/she still connected to the power supply? If so, SWITCH OFF THE POWER IMMEDIATELY. Electricity costs an absolute fortune, and it would be going to waste. Check the victims pulse, (if you can find their wrist amongst the stack of charred bones and greasy, bubbling flesh that was … Continue reading

computers & cars

WHAT IF PEOPLE BOUGHT CARS LIKE THEY BUY COMPUTERS? General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive, because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…. – – ————————————————————— HelpLine: “General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?” … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

The Power Of Faith In A Flood

Abner Jones was a poor tenant who lived in a shack by the river. One day it started to rain. It rained and rained, then it started to pour, and the river began rising. Soon the water was up to Abners knees. A boat appeared. The man in the boat … Continue reading

Why the Ethernet (Internet, Bitnet, etc..) Is Like a Penis

It can be up or down. It’s more fun when it’s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that’s the only thing … Continue reading

In The News

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times Includes some late night humor Reprinted without permission President Clinton has pledged air power to the UN effort in Bosnia. He would like to send tanks, artillery and other heavy weapons, but they’re all needed as evidence in the Waco hearings. … Continue reading