Really Stupid People Criminals

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. A company … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

Law on the March

In Boston, they run you over when you try to cross the street… In Washington, they shoot you… In NYC, they flip you off… And in LA, all the pedestrians have been killed… But in Liverpool, it’s just a smile and a wave. A pedestrian who failed to thank a … Continue reading

drunk decoy

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violators of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. He then sat … Continue reading

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

Lawyer’s Revenge

A quick narrative. I always wanted a hopped up muscle car when I was younger. I couldn’t afford one. Now I can, and I have one. It is a ’70 Mustang, and her name is Bessie. Bessie is the prototypical juvenile, male-caveman, scratch you crotch and drink cheap beer car. … Continue reading

Elderly Man

A ninety year old man is sitting on a park bench crying. The police drive by and see him. They stop to see what is wrong. Police: “What’s wrong?” Elderly Man: “I’m married to a twenty year old woman.” (Continues to cry) Police: “Sir, that’s nothing to cry about, you … Continue reading

Off The Wire & Police Blotter

OFF THE WIRE News We Just Couldn’t Pass Up Rome’s strike-prone Leonardo da Vinci Airport plans to pamper stranded passengers with improved creature comforts — and psychological counseling for the particularly exasperated. Taiwan police have nabbed a man for stealing 31 tons of imported garlic – – — the hottest … Continue reading

What NOT To Put in a Resume Cover Letter

“I’m really keen to work for you – I hear the drugs are good.” “I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately every company I have worked for has since closed down.” “I’ll kill myself if I don’t get a job.” “I know where you live.” Any sentence beginning with … Continue reading

robbing banks

About Banking… RULES FOR BANK ROBBERS According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are “unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,” comitted by young male repeat offenders who apparently don’t know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles “How Not to Rob a … Continue reading

The latest Darwin Awards

Darwin Awards These are nearly always granted posthumously. This citation is bestowed upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. —————————————————————- [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to … Continue reading

Intresting News Stories from around the World.

Compiled by Ivan Weiss. From The Seattle Times, Saturday, October 14, 1995. A small group of policemen are trying to change a negative image of Bangkok law enforcement and ease driver tensions by dancing as they direct traffic. Twelve Ventura, Calif., cheerleaders crammed into a Voltswagen Bug during a contest. … Continue reading

What Happened in 1994

Ft. Wayne, Ind. Police responded to a complaint of bullets hitting a house only to find that the complainant had hidden his loaded piston in the stove, forgotten about it and then turned on the oven. Newark, NJ A lawyer sued a resturant for damages when he was served a … Continue reading

Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense

Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later tried to post his $400 bail in coins. Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in … Continue reading

Sesame Street Gone Mad

IMPORTANT BREAKING SESAME STREET NEWS! AP Online AP 11/17 2:55 EDT V055 Copyright 1994. All Rights Reserved. NEW YORK NEW YORK (AP) — Big Bird, the famed friendly muppet of Seseme Street, has apparently gone on a rampage. Several muppets are known to be dead; including Prarie Dawn, Oscar the … Continue reading

Phrack Magazine, Volume Five, Issue Forty-Six, File 9 of 28

==Phrack Magazine== Volume Five, Issue Forty-Six, File 9 of 28 **************************************************************************** Legal Info by Szechuan Death OK. This document applies only to United States citizens: if you are a citizen of some other fascist country, don’t come whining to me when this doesn’t work….. 🙂 Make no mistake: I’m not … Continue reading