S Trek top-ten

————-Top Ten Things that Never Happen on Star Trek—————– 20 Most things that are new or in some way unexpected. 19 Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to … Continue reading

Microsoft

There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft. “Not you again,” I said. “Sorry,” he said, a little sheepishly. “I guess you know why I’m here.” Indeed I did. Microsoft’s $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 95 operating system was meant to be universally … Continue reading

Oracle Humor – Our Master Plan

A brief explanation for the uninitiated: The Usenet Oracle is all seeing, all powerful, and generally a smartass. The “lowly supplicants” send the Oracle their pitiful requests for knowledge, and he answers. For information about how to ask questions of (or answer questions as) the Usenet Oracle, email oracle@cs.indiana.edu with … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

Captain Kirk meets the Road Runner

Captain’s Log, Stardate 54324.5: Starfleet Command has directed the Enterprise to do a preliminary exploration of planet M22 in advance of a full research team. Scanners report the atmosphere to be breathable, but are recieving confusing readings with regard to life forms. I am beaming down with a landing party … Continue reading