Picture This

The British Government’s policy of socialized medicine has recently been broadened to include a service called “Proxy Fathers”. Under the government plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant through the first five years of her marriage may request the service of a proxy father; a government employee … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Big Brother is Watching YOU!

TO ALL EMPLOYEES 01/01/1995 TOILET POLICY In the past employees were permitted to make trips to the toilet under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee’s toilet time, thereby ensuring equal toilet time for all employees. … Continue reading

2nd Graders Drawing

There was a class of second graders. For their assignment, the teacher decided that they would draw a class picture, where each pupil draws something on the picture, then hands it to the next pupil who will Add to it. So the teacher starts off by giving the blank sheet … Continue reading

dog’s name

Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog’s name was Mypenis: – Mypenis ate my homework. – Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth! – Sorry I’m late. I was playing with Mypenis. – I’m sorry, Officer. I didn’t realize I had to keep Mypenis … Continue reading