Big Brother is Watching YOU!

TO ALL EMPLOYEES 01/01/1995 TOILET POLICY In the past employees were permitted to make trips to the toilet under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee’s toilet time, thereby ensuring equal toilet time for all employees. … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo In The Mall

Note: Any resemblance of names in this article to actual large powerful corporations capable of destroying mere mortal humans like sparrows in a jet turbine is, um, pure coincidence. Really. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. Try pants on backwards at the Grap. Ask the … Continue reading

Real Programmers

Don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell Quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food. Don’t write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can’t do system programming. Don’t write specs. Users should be grateful for … Continue reading