Offensive Chinese Food Menu

Fresh Every 2 7 Days PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided SUC SUM TIT Children’s Special YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted LUNCHEON SPECIALS SUM YUNG CHICK [$6 99] Different and Delicious WON HUNG LO [$6 99] Chinese Meatballs SUM DUM … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

Top 10 Ways America would be Different with Bill Gates as President

Top 10 Ways America would be Different with Bill Gates as President ——————————————————————- 10. Millions of taxpaying nerds would line up outside post offices around the country at 12:01 a.m, on January 1st to be the first ones to mail in their 1040 forms to pay for America ’97. 9. … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Government Contracting Definitions

CONTRACTOR — A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal. BID OPENING — A poker game in which the losing hand wins. BID — A wild guess carried out to two decimal places. LOW BIDDER — A contractor who is wondering what he left out of his bid. … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

How do they do it ?

Anthropologists do it with culture. Archeologists do it with mummies. Architects do it late. Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl. Bayseians probably do it. Boy Scouts do it in the woods. C++ programmers do it with class. C++ programmers do it with private members and public … Continue reading

Communist humor

What’s the difference between the United States and Eastern Eupropean countries? The United States still has a communist party. — >From the New York Times, 11/7/89: Q. Do you know what prizes the communists are now offering for recruiting new party members? A. If you get one new member, you … Continue reading

Phrack Magazine, Volume Five, Issue Forty-Six, File 9 of 28

==Phrack Magazine== Volume Five, Issue Forty-Six, File 9 of 28 **************************************************************************** Legal Info by Szechuan Death OK. This document applies only to United States citizens: if you are a citizen of some other fascist country, don’t come whining to me when this doesn’t work….. 🙂 Make no mistake: I’m not … Continue reading