100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Academic talk (offensive to professors)

What the professor means By J. Timothy Petersik from the Chronicle of Higher Education Says: You’ll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field. Means: I used it as a grad student. Says: If you follow these few simple rules, you’ll do fine in the course. Means: If … Continue reading

10 Reasons Libby Dole would be a better Presidential candidate than Bob

10 Reasons Libby Dole would be a better Presidential candidate than Bob Dole: 1. Libby has a better smile than Bob. 2. Libby hasn’t retired. 3. Libby’s a lifelong Republican. Bob’s family were Democrats. 4. As President of the American Bloodsuckers Union, Libby actually has some executive experience. 5. Libby … Continue reading

Just something to think about …

Death of an innocent child ************************** I went to a party mom, I remembered what you said. you told me not to drink, mom, So I drank soda instead. I felt really proud inside,mom, The way you said I would. I didn’t drink and drive mom Even though the others … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading

In The News

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times Includes some late night humor Reprinted without permission President Clinton has pledged air power to the UN effort in Bosnia. He would like to send tanks, artillery and other heavy weapons, but they’re all needed as evidence in the Waco hearings. … Continue reading

The Night Before Christmas; Legally Speaking

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LEGALLY SPEAKING Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, … Continue reading

Communist humor

What’s the difference between the United States and Eastern Eupropean countries? The United States still has a communist party. — >From the New York Times, 11/7/89: Q. Do you know what prizes the communists are now offering for recruiting new party members? A. If you get one new member, you … Continue reading